Late Night Depression

from Purple Sky Nights by Larkin London

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lyrics

Ever since my first search engine
I knew my mother spoke no deep truths
So when she said I have a love, somewhere
And they're searching for me too
The authority she drew upon
Was stretched as thin as you

I'm haunted by my dreams of every kind
When I'm awake, they're stumbling blocks
When I'm asleep, death is rarely ever far
But it's never something I have fought
When you appear to me, arms outstretched
More so than any others, I awake distraught

If I ever ran out of words
All it would take
Is for me just to think about your face
And I'd be whole again

Some people have no imagination
And go through life weaving intricate plots
Made of pieces they pull from greater writers
Building on the sinking sand of others thoughts
If we couldn't live like verses waxed poetic
Me and you, we would probably just rot

My eyes are heavier than the pressure of spring
Love and pollen in the air
When my swollen face hits the coolest pillow
I sink into a world beyond despair
Despite my deepest darkest wishes to forget you
I trace the curves of your face, though nothings there

If I ever ran out of words
All it would take
Is for me just to think about your face
And I'd be whole again

That night I didn't want to go to sleep
It knew it would make the day final, fluid, real.
I hoped that maybe if I let it bleed into the next day,
it wouldn't have the same weight.
If it wasn't punctuated by a full night's sleep
it might not be the same stain on the unwritten journal
that it felt like in that moment.
But when my eyes drooped and my fingers tugged the lights out,
I knew it would be a day I remembered for the rest of my life.

If I ever ran out of words
All it would take
Is for me just to think about your face
And I'd be whole again

credits

from Purple Sky Nights, released December 31, 2017

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Larkin London Hudson, North Carolina

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